LEXOPHILIA – Ya Gotta Love It

“Lexophile” describes those that have a love for words,

such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish“,

or “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.

This year’s winning submission is posted at the very end.

  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
  • If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
  • I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
  • Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  • When chemists die, they barium.
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
  • I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
  • England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
  • Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
  • This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore
  • I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
  • A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
  • When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
  • I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
  • A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
  • A will is a dead giveaway.
  • With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
  • Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
  • Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
  • A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
  • He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
  • Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

 

 

 

Self-Publishing 101 – How much does it cost to self-publish?

The Guardian has culled together a step-by-step list of tasks and costs on the road to Self-Publishing

The article is of immense help to any writer aspiring to self-publish.

Read the full article HERE.

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The 50’s were a time when Elvis was alive, but some people thought he was dead.

Instead of the other way around.

The Over-the-Hill Grand Prix

A great short film (20 min)

made locally – right here in St Pete, Florida – with all local talent, including

St Pete’s own movie stars – Barbara Harrington and David Vogel

The Over-the-Hill Grand Prix

This is a Heart-Warming Comedy film about a young girl who sees how boring life is in her grandmother’s old folks home, then appoints herself as the activities director and organizes a Wheelchair race with all of her friends pushing the elderly in what turns out to be quite a competitive race with some major cheating going on. One boy’s grandfather, a sympathetic character, tells his grandson, “I don’t want to be in a race. There is zero percent chance of ever winning. I never won a thing in my whole life. Get somebody else to race with you. I don’t want to turn you into a ‘Loser’ like me.” The grandson is now all-the-more determined to race and, for the first time in his grandfather’s life, make him a “Winner.”

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE, LIKE, AND SHARE!!!

 

Devil’s Spawn

Thought for the day…

 

Fact: The average human body temperature is 98.6 Fahrenheit.

Sure, some run a little hotter; especially in rush hour, but 98.6 is average for humans.

Fact: In Celsius and centigrade, water freezes at zero, in Fahrenheit it’s 32 degrees.

So, why did Dr Fahrenheit choose 32?

No one knows for sure, but perhaps he wanted to throw us off from the cold (or hot) truth.

Fact: If you subtract 98.6 (human body temp) from 32 (the point at which water freezes),

you will find that humans are actually 66.6 degrees above freezing.

While politicians and physicists may lie, math does not!